Dating websites for big and beautiful women
I e-mailed and he wrote back, “I had fun making out with you—if you’re ever up for some more fun, let me know.” So then I knew that’s all he really wanted. So what’s the difference between hooking up with a fetishist and just hooking up with someone casually?
He wasn’t like, “Hi, I’m a fetishist,” he just wants to have sex with random plus-size women. Is someone who likes plus-size girls a fetishist just because his preference isn’t mainstream?
He kept saying over and over, “I think you’re beautiful.” My first instinct was, This is a joke, someone put him up to it—which says a lot about where I was at that point. Experience, age and understanding that a lot of people attracted to me because of (or in spite of) my size takes away some of the nervousness I used to feel on dates. I was trying to move over him, and he said, “Your weight is hurting me.” That brought me back to reality. I was wearing a new outfit and these really hot tights, and in one fell swoop, he brought me down a little bit.
I was surprised because we’d never talked about my size being an issue.
And I’ve been contacted by men on BBW sites who ask me if I’m open to a feeding relationship, which I’m not.
It means they want to be with somebody who likes to eat, who they can feed and would consider gaining a lot of weight. But I think there’s a fine line between someone who’s a fetishist and someone who’s not.
And a lot of men who are attracted to plus-size women love the feeling of weight.
There’s the whole dominant-submissive side of fetishizing a plus-size woman, wanting her to be in control, to be physically bigger.
There’s a misconception that plus-size girls are insecure in their bodies.
Now I know that the skinny white girl is not the ideal to everyone.
There are cultures and races that prefer plus-size women.
It was a different world there: Size wasn’t so much of an issue, though there was a hierarchy, with the skinnier girls at the top.
I had a few boyfriends every summer, and when I got really thin, I suddenly had a boyfriend back at school, too. After that it was back to the old way, and I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. I was always overweight, but when I got to Vassar I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.